Tag Archives: Coulson

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Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D: F.Z.Z.T

Agents of SHIELD logoThe first part of this episode is boring.  The second part comes out of nowhere and is harrowing and surprising and touching.  If this show could just learn to be like that for a full episode instead of half an episode, it would be phenomenal.

The first half of this episode is about the team trying to figure out how a camp counselor died.  He was a firefighter, and the team discovers that there are other victims of this mysterious cause of death who are also firefighters.  This part is dull.

Do we care about the fate of this camping trip? No. not at all.

Do we care about the fate of this camping trip? No. not at all.

But then, Coulson determines that a firefighter who was a first responder in New York is infected with a Chitauri virus and is about to die.  And then we do care – because Coulson does, and he stays with the man as long as he can, offering to call his family and telling him that he (Coulson) was dead, and that what he saw when he died was beautiful.

Yeah, I care about this guy, and now I have something in my eye, damn it.

Yeah, I care about this guy, and now I have something in my eye, damn it.

Mystery solved!  Episode over!  No wait – it’s not, because the body of the first victim had been brought onto the plane, and Simmons was infected while examining the body.  She has an estimated two hours to live, they can’t land because they are over the ocean, and her death will cause an electronic surge that will destroy the plane, which is why Jacob from Lost orders Coulson to “jettison the cargo”.

Smug little bastard...

Smug little bastard…

So Simmons is on one side of a quarantine door trying to make a cure for herself.  Fitz is on the other side, trying to help her without being in the lab, until he basically says, “screw quarantine” and just comes in.  Ward and Skye are regulated to the background (finally!) where they are frantic from feeling helpless, and Coulson, supported by May, is trying to stall his superiors and figure out what to do, and I have all the feels.

Like I said, all the feels.

Like I said, all the feels.

So without spoiling everything completely, here’s some of the best lines – I say some, because there were a ton of great lines this week.  Coulson has several conversations with May that are vulnerable and scary and sad that I didn’t even try to sum up.  Beautiful writing, beautiful acting.

Agent May, interrogating a camp leader:  “Have a cookie.”

Simmons:  “It’s science, Fitz!  I have to dissect something!”

Coulson, eyeing a locked barn door:  “We could ram it with the truck.”  May kicks the door open.  “Or…”

Coulson:  “Do you have any idea what it’s like dealing with the Moroccan office?”

This episode was strong (once it got going) for several reasons:

  • We finally got to see an episode that revolved around characters other than Skye.  I may be the only person on the Internet who actually likes Skye, but I’ve been dying to see some other people, and Fitz and Simmons, and to a lesser extent May and Coulson, were fun and touching.  Untrained, terrified Fitz grabbing a parachute may be the most heroic thing I’ve ever seen.
  • Sometimes Coulson can be a little bit too, dare I say, robotic (maybe literally!  who knows!) but in this episode we got all the Coulsons:  the cocky, confident Coulson, the scared, vulnerable Coulson, the compassionate Coulson, and the Dad.
  • There was real suspense in this episode, some of which stems from the fact that the Whedonverse is famous for killing off regulars, often quite early.  I give you the episode “Hero”, from Angel, Season One.
  • The show has promised to ask what the world would be like for people after the discovery of superheroes and demo-gods and aliens.  Up until know, the show has mostly dealt with that by throwing around new exciting technology for our team to capture.  This episode showed how helpless and outmatched humans can be in this new world that they are profoundly ignorant about and unprepared to battle.  It wasn’t nihilistic, but it was real.
  • Above all, I finally feel like I care about the characters.  I care about Ward, who wishes the danger to Simmons was a person so he could punch it.  I care about Skye, who cuts through a lot of crap by hugging.  I care about Coulson and May, whose scars remind them to move forward.  And boy howdy do I care about Fitz and Simmons, who up until now were background noise.

See you next week, team.  Try not to die on me in the meantime, OK?

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Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D: “Girl in the Flower Dress”

Agents of SHIELD logoAnother good episode, although I still think it’s time for Skye and Ward to fill the background while Melinda May and Fitz/Simmons get something epic and character-building to do.  Remember this column is more of a “highlight” feature than a recap.  To find out the details of what happened, I recommend Television Without Pity, io9, or The Mary Sue, all of which have great recaps of S.H.I.E.L.D.

Speaking of Melinda May, do I have a dirty mind, or are she and Coulson ex-lovers?  Who might get back together at any minute, especially if Melinda has anything to say about it?  Because the way she suggested getting out the mats like in the old days was fraught with meaning.  Fraught, I say!  They have a torrid past, people!  You heard it here first!  And did anyone else notice that this conversation happened during the only time in the series so far when Melinda has been wearing casual clothes instead of what is basically body armor?  Might we start seeing Melinda, the person, soon as opposed to Melinda the weapon?

No, Agent Ward, it's not just you - we are all confused by this shirt.

No, Agent Ward, it’s not just you – we are all confused by this shirt.

And all this makes me wonder – does Phil remember the cellist?  Obviously he still has long-term memory but I wonder if he lost any memories from his pre-Loki weeks.  Coulson, you have a jet!  You can go visit the cellist in Portland!  Having lived in Portland, I guarantee you it’s packed with all kinds of things you can investigate, so you can even conduct these visits on work time.  As Tony says, “Keep love alive”.  Unless you and Melinda might…and I still think you and Maria Hill could…Oh, I’m sorry, were we watching something?

SO ANYWAY, this weeks’ theme is who people really are.  At first the theme seems to be that everyone would really love to have sex but would sooner perish than reveal such a fact.  Thus we have Melinda and the mats conversation, and Ward and Skye playing Battleship in an awfully chummy way (I prefer to think of them as brother/sister but it’s an adorable scene either way).  Skye has sex with an idiot ex-boyfriend (nice underwear, Skye!) and Fitz seems to take the reveal of the boyfriend’s existence awfully personally.  Meanwhile, the expendable bad guy of the week is manipulated all too easily by the Girl in the Flower Dress, Raina, who slinks about in pure evil villain fashion.  You know who she reminds me of?  A sexy version of Blofield from Dr. No.  Get this woman a cat.

Beware!

Beware!

But as it turns out, all this sexy vibe stuff is just an excuse to get to the bigger theme:  can you know who someone else really is?  At thins point, we know very little about anyone’s back story so everyone is a mystery.  But Skye’s dark secret is revealed to the group, and they are all clearly devastated that she lied to them, in a “we thought we knew who you were” sort of way.  Well, yeah – you did know who she was.  You knew she was a hacker with a secret hacker organization and a strong belief in basic human rights.  Which she is.

And BTW, could we please have the argument that Skye and her ex have about the ethics of S.H.I.E.L.D, only could we please have it between two characters who have higher levels of intelligence than a chia pet?  Because there’s an actual, valid argument to be had here and it lacks credibility when it comes from Skye and her idiot boyfriend, on account of how the two of them put together still lack the brainpower of a chia pet.

And of course this whole betrayal thing is laid out nicely in parallel with street magician guy who at first seems like a fairly decent guy who feels ignored but who ends up frying one of our two villains.  and of course he is betrayed by the flower dress woman who promises him that he will have fame and fortune and ends up stealing his platelets.

Owwww...

Owwww…

Here’s some more great lines from this week:

Great deadpan, when Skye’s idiot ex-boyfriend says to May, “So, are you guys just going to destroy all my stuff?”  To which she says,

“Yes”.

Well, you asked, dumbass.

Coulson has the very best lines, of course:

“So we’re good, right?”

“They said he was kind of a tool”

“Oh crap.  They gave him a name”.

Hello, Scorch. Ooops - Goodbye, Scorch.

Hello, Scorch. Ooops – Goodbye, Scorch.

And the saddest exchange is between Skye and her ex, although no one cares because she and her ex are both such horrible morons during this episode:

“You’re not who you used to be”.

“You’re not who I thought you were”.

One last thing:  we now have a firmly established family dynamic on our team.  Fitz/Simmons are the babies of the family – cute little kids.  Skye is the bratty teenager.  Grant is her big brother.   Coulson and May are the parents.

agents-of-shield-girl-in-the-flower-dress-coulson

Skye gets busted for having sex with her ex, who S.H..I.E.L.D. is looking for.  Specifically, she is busted while she is trying to find her shirt, by none other than a very angry Melinda May.  The only thing that could make Melinda May seem more like a very, very angry mom at that moment is that she never says the word “grounded”.  Seriously, it’s just so pianful.  And OMG, Coulson is so dissapointed, and so angry – it’s a great moment for Couson (“You’re lying NOW!”) because we get to see his facade crack a little.  He is furious.  When Loki stabbed him during The Avengers, Coulson looked a little annoyed, as though he was buying groceries and realized that he had left his wallet at home.  Now he is PISSED.

Yes, I find this affecting. I'm not made of stone, people.

If Coulson was angry and disappointed in me, this is exactly the face I would make, too.  Stop making me feel stuff Skye, I’m getting all sniffly!

So, despite the entire existence of idiot ex-boyfriend, I thought this was a great episode.  There were smallish stakes (individual people might die or get hurt, Grant’s Battleship might get sunk).  There were personal stakes.  The thing with Skye’s ex was dumb but the shame and humiliation she experiences, and the sense of betrayal and disappointment that the team experiences  – that was powerful and real.  There were global stakes – an international group is trying to create super-villains, so that’s not good.

No highlights next week because no show next week – we’ll be back with this feature in November!

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Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D: Eye-Spy

Agents of SHIELD logoThis is more like it!  This week’s episode was fun, but also suspenseful, gross, creepy, and emotionally engaging.  I worried during this episode, and I laughed, and I went, “Ewwww!”  So, a good week.

The Good Stuff

This episode set a different tone than the previous episodes. with a creepy opening sequence in which a young black woman encounters a group of strange men with suits, briefcases, and red masks at a street fair.  They end up on the same train, the lights go out, and when they come back on train is full of dead red-faced guys while she is at the station unloading a box of diamonds into her hand.  It’s part horror, part heist.

See? They're creepy!

See? They’re creepy!

We can thank three things for this week’s success – decent writing that was unafraid to show a story that doesn’t revolve around Our Heroes emotional tics, excellent direction (the opening montage was visually fantastic), and a sublime performance from guest star Pascale Armand, as Akela Amadour.  Here she is, folks:

PASCALE ARMAND

It’s a tribute to the power of tropes that I saw the opening scene as a woman being stalked by creepy guys, when in fact the plot suggests that she stalked them.  And there are lots of other nifty reversal and twists in this episode.  Above all, Armand is such a subtle actress that she single-handedly brings a high level of gravitas to the show, which the actors around her do a great job of keeping it from becoming oppressive.  Akela projects vulnerability, so I felt empathy and worry for her.  She’s tough (physically and mentally – holy shit, that eyeball thing was badass!)  and smart, so I respected her.  And her presence allows for more conflict among the team  – May is genuinely put out with Coulson, the ever-infallible Coulson seems to have made a huge mistake in the past with Akela, and everyone has to do things they aren’t comfortable doing.  So, I laughed plenty during this episode, and had fun, and got to take a much-needed weekly break from Thinking Deep Thoughts, but I also got very invested in what was going on.  Congrats, show!

I’m fond of the fact that this show keeps addressing, and subverting, the idea that the role of an agent is to seduce people.  In the pilot, Skye only uses her womanly wiles to gain an advantage over Ward after he specifically tells her that that will work.  In the next episode, Coulson’s ex tries to seduce him but that just makes him realize that she’s up to something.  In the following episode, Skye attempts wiles again but is informed by the bad guy that he is only interested in her brains.  And in this one, Ward has to seduce a man.  Now, I’m annoyed that Ward would balk at the idea of seducing a man.  He’s been an agent for ages and I find it hard to believe that he hasn’t had to do it before.  But, I find it hilarious that the problem isn’t really that he has to seduce a man, it’s that he has to seduce a man who is probably straight, and that the answer to this conundrum is to try to make friends.  Yes, Ward, friends.  It’s in the dictionary.  Look it up.

Agent May is extra scary in the morning.

Agent May is not amused.

The Not As Good Stuff

I still don’t understand why Fitz and Simmons are doing eye surgery.  They don’t understand it either.  Is it actually possible that no one on the planet but me, Fitz, and Simmons understands the difference between being able to build a bomb and being able to cut someone’s eye out without doing unintentional damage?  I mean, anyone can cut out an eyeball, but putting it back, or even leaving it out and not having your patient bleed to death through their eye socket – that’s tricky.  I’m sorry to have to dwell on such a disgusting subject, but oh, my God, the eye horror was through the roof this week, with the needle, and the – OK, see, now I have to go lie down.

Best Lines of the Week

The best line this week comes from the unexpected difficulties of stakeouts, when Fitz, Simmons, and Skye ask Ward where they are supposed to pee (“It was really a long drive! and some of us are nervous”) and he suggests an empty water bottle, prompting Skye to say, “Did you ever learn the part where boy parts and girl parts are different, and our parts aren’t PENISES?”

For other standouts, I give you the following:

Fitz/Simmons giving Ward experimental weaponry:  “In case you miss!  Or…have…multiple..assilants”.

Coulson:  “Next time I get to decide what we call ourselves, OK?”

When Skye mentions being attacked during the stakeout, Coulson says, “That should never have happened”.  and when she brushes it off saying it wasn’t as scary as listening to her parents fight, he says, “That should never have happened either”.  Now I have, like, ALL the emotions.  Excuse me while I just stick my heart back into my chest.

Couple bits of trivia – this episode was directed by…wait for it…Roxann Dawson!  Who played B’Elanna Torres on Star Trek: Voyager!  Personally, I’m not a fan of Voyager, but I was a fan of that character, so – Hi!  And on a purely personal note, whenever I’m looking for images for these posts I keep finding images of Loki instead.  Oh, Loki.  Ours is a forbidden love.

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Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.: This week’s best lines

Agents of SHIELD logoThere are so many websites that provide high quality recaps of S.H.I.E.L.D. that I’m going to forgo the full recap and just give a few highlights every week.  As a Joss Whedon fan, y’all know I’m not going to pass up the chance to write something about this show every week!

So, let’s discuss the pilot.  Did you love it?  Hate it?  I thought it was…OK.  I enjoyed the dialogue and I thought the pilot did a good job of setting up the story.  Of course the characters are completely undeveloped but they are all, well, lined up, ready for Things To Happen.  Were I not already a Marvel/Whedon fan, I’m not sure this pilot would have made me feel compelled to start watching the show.  Since I AM a Marvel/Whedon fan, of course I can’t wait for next week.

ID cards of SHIELD agents

Oooh, looks at the above handy image, which makes it so very easy to remember everyone’s name.  Here’s the outline of the pilot:  SHIELD (which I will henceforth be spelling without the pesky polka dots) is an agency that handles all this weird new superhero stuff that has become public since the events of the Avengers movie.  We have a mismatched team of people who don’t get along well – so a Whedon show.  Here’s this week’s best lines:

Grant Ward to Maria Hill:  I don’t think Thor’s technically a God.

Maria Hill:  Then you obviously haven’t been near his arms.

Maria Hill and Phil Coulson

Does anyone feel a sudden, terrible urge to start shipping Maria Hill and Phil Coulson? No? Just me, then?

Phil Coulson, referring to his dramatic entrance:  “I’m sorry, that corner was really dark, and I couldn’t help myself.  I think there’s a bulb out.”

Phil Coulson, referring to Maria Hill’s assessment of Grant Ward’s people skills:  “Under ‘people skills’ she drew a little poop, with knives sticking out of it.  That’s bad, right?”

incidentally, I’m sure that eventually I’ll be all in to Grant Ward and his childhood traumas, but right now I find him incredibly boring.  Pretty, but dull.

Yes, I know - he's very pretty and he speaks French. and yet, I do not care.

Yes, I know – he’s very pretty and he speaks French. and yet, I do not care.

Skye:  “Yes, I have an office!  A mobile office…a van…in which I live…BY CHOICE!

Oh Skye, everything you say is adorable.  Never change, you overly cutesy and clever girl, you.

Yes, Skye, we get it - you are a nut. But a funny nut!

Grant Ward, under the effects of truth serum:  “I try to mask my pain in front of beautiful women because it makes me seem more masculine.  My God, this stuff works fast!”

Also, one word:  “Grammy?”

This whole scene was just glorious.  Oh look, he’s kinda cute when he’s all confused:

chloe-bennet-shield-stills

And word about props – hey, it’s Coulson and his megaphone!  And the car!  LOVE THE CAR!

One thing I notice in typing these out is how very dry the humor is and how much it relies on the actors to deliver the lines just right to get the joke across.  Stay tuned next week for more jokes that you probably had to be there for, and to see if the following things happen:

  • Skye and Grant’s instant dislike of each other turns into a huge crush
  • My dislike of Grant morphs into a huge crush (NEVER!)
  • Melinda May gets more than two lines
  • Ron Glass ruins all the scenes he’s in by inadvertently causing me to scream with delight whenever he shows up, thus ensuring that I miss all the lines.  How soon will that wear off, do you think?
Ron Glass in SHIELD

Oh, don’t be mad at me, Ron! I’m only screaming as a sign of joy!