Down with the Holidays, Up With Pajamas

61264fe8b541895d1fd79cf0539415ecLike everyone else in America this week, I have a cold. As colds go it’s not a bad one. In fact, I may be the most healthy person in the United States of America at this moment. However, it is leaving me so tired that today my daughter physically dragged me to bed and bombarded me with stuffed animals and one very confused live dog until I consented to go to sleep.

I’ve observed that everyone else has this same cold, or a worse cold, or the flu, and yet the holidays are already upon us. We made it through my husband’s birthday, my daughter’s birthday, and Halloween, and now I have to start my Thanksgiving baking before I even had a proper chance to eat all the leftover Trick or Treat candy. We have an early Thanksgiving this weekend with local family and official Thanksgiving a week later with San Diego Family and then Xmas. I certainly can’t complain about all this and yet I also can’t stay awake. Since everyone feels blah, I’d like to make the following suggestion:

Thanksgiving is cancelled. I have abolished it, using the powers divested in me by the Internet. I have also permanently cancelled Christmas. Relax, Christians, it’s not personal. I’m also abolishing Hanukkah, Diwali, Rohatsu, Solstice, Saturnalia, Festivus, Office Parties,and any lunar holiday that happens to fall between October and January.

In place of the October through December Holidays, I’d like to propose a three-month long festival known as The Season of the Pajamas. We shall celebrate by wearing pajamas – to the store, to work, to school, wherever. During these three months, there are no set paid holidays – instead everyone gets unlimited paid sick leave. Saying that you “have the blahs” counts as sick. It is also permissible to say, “I just don’t feel like getting up.” Needless to say, if you do go to work/school/Walmart, you will do so in PJs (no big change regarding Walmart).

There are no gift exchanges during this time. Nor is there decor. However, there is usually a run on blankets and pillows during this season.

Our festive foods will be instant soup, pizza, and tea. Gatherings are forbidden except in cases of group movie marathons on cushions and large couches. TV show binges are also permitted. Instead of being judged on how clean and well-decorated your house is, you will be judged on how sloppy it is, since in the spirit of sloth, one is to neglect housekeeping during this time. Think of it as a housekeeping fast. You may serve your guests hot beverages of the instant variety, soda, popcorn, and pizza. Carry out pizza, not some home-fired-in-the-backyard-pizza-oven stuff. Do not desecrate Pajama Season by cooking during this slothful time.

You may notice, that, just like the current holiday season, some toil while others rest. For those who agree to make pizza for the rest of us and keep Netflix in proper working order, there is a mandatory trade-off period – those of us who celebrate Pajama Season must give these hard workers corresponding time off during Flip Flop Season. Fair is fair.

I with you all a very slothful Pajama Season. You can get dressed gain on January 30th which will give you two weeks to prepare for All Kinds Of Love Including But Very Much Not Limited To Romantic Love Day in February. Enjoy.

Between the Lines Book Club: Americana

between the lines book club logoWelcome to a new Book Club month. We’re reading Americana, by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie. We will meet in person at the Arden Dimick Library in Sacramento, CA at 10:30AM on November 21.

Americanah is the third novel by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, a Nigerian author. Here’s the plot synopsis, courtesy of Amazon:

Ifemelu and Obinze are young and in love when they depart military-ruled Nigeria for the West. Beautiful, self-assured Ifemelu heads for America, where despite her academic success, she is forced to grapple with what it means to be black for the first time. Quiet, thoughtful Obinze had hoped to join her, but with post-9/11 America closed to him, he instead plunges into a dangerous, undocumented life in London. Fifteen years later, they reunite in a newly democratic Nigeria, and reignite their passion—for each other and for their homeland.

The book won considerable critical acclaim for it’s take on race in Africa and the US. From Chimamanda’s website:

● Winner of the 2013 National Book Critics Circle Award for Fiction
● One of The New York Times’s Ten Best Books of the Year
● Winner of the The Chicago Tribune 2013 Heartland Prize for Fiction
● An NPR “Great Reads” Book, a Washington Post Notable Book, a Seattle
Times Best Book, an Entertainment Weekly Top Fiction Book, a Newsday Top 10 Book, and a Goodreads Best of the Year pick.

Watch this stop over the next few Fridays for more about this book, its author, and the history of Nigeria, and if you can, join us on November 21, 2015!

Halloween Thanks

Mystery_Men_19123_MediumSo today I was going to review a book but ha ha I have a cold and I’m about to go to the store in my PJs to get tea and stuff so no book review for you today. Instead, here’s some Halloween thanks:

Thank you to the many trick-or-treaters who came to our house – we love being part of a big trick or treat neighborhood!

Thank you to the fact that all the trick-or-treaters vanished at 9PM. We had one group at 9:30, but my porch light was still on and jack-o-lanterns still lit so there was no breach of etiquette there. Once the lights went off we had no late night knockers, either human or supernatural. And all the trick-or -treaters, especially the teens, were glowingly polite. We had awesome teens. You are not too old to trick or treat as long as you are doing it that politely! Come back next year!

Thank you to the parents who had my peanut allergy daughter over this week and who had to put up with the fact that for me from October to January it’s basically one long anxiety attack about food. You will all be pleased to know that dear daughter had a great October with no allergy attacks although she is also sick.

Thanks to my husband who is hiding the candy so I don’t eat it all, and thanks for the fact that he hasn’t hidden it quite yet. Mmmmmm.

Thank you PJs and Cartoons and tea and Kleenex.

Happy belated Halloween and Samhain to you and yours!